My mind-body connection
Introduction
I am a mother of eight children whose age range from 4 to 26. I own a daycare business and have fifteen employees; I decided to go back to college at age 42. I like to read, garden, and play with my kids when there is time.
All these children need my attention and want to be wrapped in affection. It is often difficult for me to show them an equal measure of affection and some of them are always grumbling. Many times, the small children aged below ten make mistakes worth punishing and I do punish them so as to sear into their minds the consequences should they dare repeat. However, when those aged over make similar mistakes I mete out more stricter punishments compared to their counterparts. The cynosure is that whenever I punish those aged over ten more strictly, they always grumble that I am discriminating them. I do understand that they base their argument by comparing their punishments with those of those aged ten. Trying to make them understand that the children aged below ten have slightly developed minds and body, and that don’t yet have more experience as them, is not convincing at all. This situation is a stressor to me.
The stress I get from the situation and how to tackle the situation is greatly affecting me. One quiet evening, after an usual day of arguing with my children on another punishment that I mete out to two of children aged four and twelve; I discovered hair loss on my head while I was applying a mascara wad on my lips and combing my hair ready to go out for a dinner with one of my friends. I couldn’t come to terms with it and so, I promised myself that the next day I had to seek medical advice from someone knowledgeable in health psychology and the doctor emphasized on positive psychology by not sacrificing my health for the sake of my children’s petty mistakes. The following day, I visited the doctor and after using a haircheck equipment, his biofeedback was that it was caused by telogen effluvium. That was the primary appraisal; I learned that it was a threat.
I hatched an idea, I would never punish my children again despite what: this was the secondary appraisal. And surely, this idea was fruitful as I had resilience. Barely a week after my resolution never to punish my children again, one of my fifteen employees in my day care business complained that Simon, my eleven-aged boy, had talked to him indecently . I didn’t want to punish my children anymore, yet, the behavior was unbearable; this keeping of stress to myself and “bottling up” caused me acculturative stress.
Recently, I decided to go back to college at the age of 42. This had positive effect on my health as I mingled with college students like me and we could share ideas and jokes that we only understood, just like comrades. I kept the oldest child, in charge of the others as I was often late and it was a social support. I seek solace in reading, gardening and playing with my kids when I can get time and this gives me both progressive relaxation and relaxation response which are effective in coping with my stress.
The old stress was rehashed when my one of my employees confided to me that he was diagnosed with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and I had a great concern for the safety of the children attending my daycare school. I also feared that the employee could have an intimate relationship with my twenty-six-year-old son and would affect his immune system and his antigens ineffective, could die of Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) (William, 1990); yet, laying off the employee could amount to discrimination. Shortly, the employee started getting burnout, type A behavior and post-traumatic stress disorder and I recommended she get a paid leave for two weeks. In conclusion, I have learned that “bottling up” my anger is dangerous to my health and that to have a healthy life, I must have an outlet for my stress.

Reference
Check, W. A. (1990). The mind-body connection. Broomall, PA: Chelsea House.